Little Hell

I'm not really sure what I plan to write about right now I just feel like I need to. As of today I am no longer in a wheel chair but just like everything else in my life once something gets better other things get worse. My family is about to fall apart again and right before Christmas of course. A fight I'm sure I'll end up in the middle of. I'm just so ready to get away from all the drama and negativity. I'm not really sure how I plan to do that but I'm definitely going to make it happen some way. Sometimes I just want close my eyes, point to a place on the map and go wherever I choose. I just want to leave everything behind and start over new. I'm tired of this life and people in it. I'm tired of fucking up and getting hurt by people I thought I could trust. I don't want to feel like I'm not good enough anymore. I feel lost and confused and trying to find my way only seems to make things worse. The paths I walk are deceiving and I'm too stupid to realize it. I can't wait until this school year is over so I can finally get out of this town and leave the past behind. I've let myself get hurt too many times by too many people and what sucks is I don't hate them no matter what they do to me. I love people I shouldn't and I trust too easily. I think the worst part is that no one understands and the one person who does, is part of the problem. My family and friends are always the ones who depend on me because I'm always there but who do I go to? Who do I have to depend on? This probably makes no sense so I'm just going to stop writing now.